march

Monday - 03.18.24

I applied to a data entry position. I am really worried that I've just completely ruined my life and there's no hope for the future, etc etc. Like, apparently, even people with massive resumes, over a decade of experience in their fields, are unable to find a job, so my pathetic shit I've got going on has no chance...

In lighter news, plush sheep!

I followed Maqaroon's tutorial, which I actually remember watching when it first came out almost a decade ago, oh wow! I also first learned about needlefelting from her channel back then, and also only actually tried that recently.

I normally kinda hate following tutorials (despite really enjoying watching them recreationally), but I figured it'd be a good idea to have some kind of guidance going into this. Which was probably a good idea, I still made a lot of mistakes! The biggest are underestimating how much of a seam allowance to leave or how much thread I'll need; it's always better to go over, rather than under!

It's kinda sad; the thing I really like about seeing these handmade plushies (like 2012 Deviantart-core ones), is seeing how specifically "handmade" they look, with the exposed stitching, etc, but I can't help but pick out all my flaws and feel shitty... I guess that's all just part of learning, though, right? And he did turn out pretty cute in the end, despite all that went wrong... Also, I never thought about sewing needlefelted projects before, but that adds a whole world of possibilities.

I'm planning on leaving him in a park or something, like we've done with other little crocheted things. My initial plan for him was to make him into a little demon sheep with red button eyes, actually. (My vision, pictured below, along with some other plush ideas:)

But I figured that if I was giving him away, the demon-thing would probably be inappropriate, oops. Also, button eyes can be a choking hazard, so that's why I opted for just doing a simple embroidered face here. I still really love the idea of button eyes, though!

Sunday - 03.10.24

Yeah, I'm lazy, so I think I'm just gonna reuse the templates from last year. I'm still really fond of this one, though, even if it's made in the least optimal way possible! I might actually see if I can fix it later in the month... Hmm, nope, just tried it, and I think the dream of getting the grass to stick nicely to the bottom of the page on mobile is a pipedream that will never be fulfilled, rip.

Again, the disclaimer from last time applies: if this particularly looks like ass in your browser, please take pity and follow the link at the top. Thanks for bearing with me!

Anyway! I didn't post anything last month, oops. Nothing really happened that was worth sharing... My birthday was on the 14th and I hit up a couple of used bookstores, both irl and online. Found some cool stuff, like:

Rachel Carson's Sea Trilogy
Monet's Garden: a photobook of the eponymous garden (with lots of waterlilies, of course <3)
American Women Afield: Writings by Pioneering Women Naturalists, edited by Marcia Myers Bonta
Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez
The Women's West, edited by Susan Armitage and Elizabeth Jameson

Got some other things as well. Each one was less than $5, but in hindsight, I may have gotten a bit too much, oops. Again, my bookshelves are already overflowing, so they're all just piled up in the corner of my desk for now...

I saw a cool hawk yesterday, just a bit down the street from my house! I'm not really sure what kind, though -- might've been a male Northern Harrier or a Cooper's Hawk? I would normally post pictures, but, uh... it was eating a rabbit, I think, and that's maybe a bit too gory to share.

Reading some of these old-timey naturalists (and still modern ones, I guess), they can sometimes have weird morals around animals eating other animals. And that's silly, of course -- it's just a fact of nature, etc etc. But actively seeing gore kinda freaks me out, even pictures of tigers or housecats with a bloody face. Like, I remember watching an episode of Chopped where they were cooking with beef tongue and, still, that was a bit much for me!

On a somewhat, vaguely related note, I think I mentioned exchanging Christmas presents with my immediate neighbors, right? This year, we knitted some hats and scarves, but didn't actually end up giving them out until like, mid Feb. It was nice having a little chat with them, though!

The woman to our right . She got us a little suet cake birdfeeder, which was really nice of her! I actually ended up buying one a while ago, but I guess you can never have too many, right? ^^ Downy woodpeckers seem to especially like them, but we've also had a few bluejays, juncos, chicadees, a nuthatch, etc come to visit. And some starlings, which are very pretty, but kinda giant assholes and seem to get into a lot of fights.

Anyway, she's around 90 and lives with her middle age sons. One had a stroke recently and she's been having to take care of him; in her thank you card, she wrote:

He is doing better now. Seems all I do is cook & dishes & make sure he gets his meds & goes to his doctor's appointments. My oldest has been a big help to a point. Fishing comes first

It's incredibly sad... She herself had cancer a few times, and she said she thinks "God saved her to take care of them." She also mentioned going to some other guy's house regularly to do his laundry??

I still feel really guilty and self-conscious about living at home still... Again, I pay part of the bills and cook and clean, etc, so I don't think I'm, like, that bad, right?? ....